If I were a book, you would be the terrorizing fire burning all my pages out of spite.
because -your brutal flames negate the beauty of light.
If I were a book, you would be the flames feeding off of the words you don’t know
devouring everything that comes along that may challenge your inferno
because you have refused the brightness which was bestowed upon you
light that’s meant to allow people to see; you manipulated the embers that flew
you are your own pyre, in your damn empire; alone
you can burn my pages, but you’ll never burn my bones
the conspiracy of my serenity
feigned identifying my identity
high off of sobriety
consistently negating calamity
yet aware that playing the game is the only remedy
I recorded at a studio for the first time the other night. That feeling of creating something… I don’t know whether it was the ambiance, the aesthetic… or whether it was because I was like an alcoholic taking a drink after sobriety;
the release of emotions, an inner addiction being fulfilled once again.
I was exposed; raw. It was as though my soul was nude after an immensely long period of time; untouched.
An amorous advance to music.
via Daily Prompt: Exposed
overcast clouds that are hiding how I miss us
our storms have caused me to mistrust
and forced me to leave our love out to rust
Last night when I was driving home from work, I decided to keep the windows rolled down when it was raining. It was as though I was trying to numb myself.
However, the most absurd feeling manifested from the bottom of my lungs, and I was taken aback by the lack of ease of breathing.
After choosing to drive past my house to cruise around, I realized that:
A part of me was sad for being happy.
Was it guilt? remorse? loss? I don’t believe that I was at fault for anything… and I couldn’t help but feel confused and disappointment with myself. I questioned whether it was again, my deprecating tendencies that raised these emotions or whether it was pure habit to feel this way. Perhaps it was both, because nothing is necessarily wrong with my life right now. I mean, there is always something be sad about, I told myself, but there is always something to be happy about also. Choosing to see light is the decision one makes to be happy.
You shouldn’t feel guilty for being happy because you feel as though it as at the expense of another, because it is not. It would be at the expense of your being if you chose against your happiness for a cause that is unjustifiable.
“The truth never damages a cause that is just” – Mahatma Gandhi
Be mindful that there are certain aspects of life that feel right and wrong for a reason. If you made the right choice, let yourself be happy.
Lost under my own sheets… trying to muster the strength to mend my broken mind… I am neither afraid nor fearsome of the unknown. I am simply just laying, listening, and trying to feel something.
I am trying to resurface thoughts manifested from a mere crevice found in the labyrinth that I claim is my mind.
I no longer want to distract myself with the emptiness of my heart, nor the cold temperatures of my soul.
Because those statements are (un)fortunately mendacious.
There is strength in understanding that life isn’t a composition of neither practicality or risk.
Life is a composition of being and simply letting be. Sometimes you need to stop thinking in an efficient way; a way that forebodes self-deprecating tendencies.
Otherwise, one would be left hunting for misconceived versions of happiness; viewing life from a different perspective and not acting on things because of preconceived notions of reality.
I am paralyzed by my own mind. Thinking and not thinking… the imbalances of my brain that have constituted illegal activity and deeming it as what is right. Succumbed to the temptations of being saved and saving as oppose to experiencing the journey and acknowledging that there is nothing you need to be saved from. Understand that there is no enemy; you are not your enemy.
held onto fire inadvertently so
mesmerized; inhaling all of the smoke
listened to every syllable you spoke
Embers flew while we watched the sun awoke