tainted leaves

that caress my soul

consumed by grievance

autumn leaves to make me whole


because my heart is falling

into the pits of despair

on my knees crawling

heaving; looking for air






it’s when your chest caves in and you attempt to muster the strength to keep every part of you from crumbling down along side it

when all the crevices of your soul are exposed… an overabundance of angst that suffocates the echos of your own voice

when …




If I were a book, you would be the terrorizing fire burning all my pages out of spite.

because -your brutal flames negate the beauty of light.


If I were a book, you would be the flames feeding off of the words you don’t know

devouring everything that comes along that may challenge your inferno


because you have refused the brightness which was bestowed upon you

light that’s meant to allow people to see; you manipulated the embers that flew



you are your own pyre, in your damn empire; alone

you can burn my pages, but you’ll never burn my bones




I recorded at a studio for the first time the other night.  That feeling of creating something… I don’t know whether it was the ambiance, the aesthetic… or whether it was because I was like an alcoholic taking a drink after sobriety;

the release of emotions, an inner addiction being fulfilled once again.

I was exposed; raw.  It was as though my soul was nude after an immensely long period of time; untouched.

An amorous advance to music.


via Daily Prompt: Exposed


Last night when I was driving home from work, I decided to keep the windows rolled down when it was raining.  It was as though I was trying to numb myself.

However, the most absurd feeling manifested from the bottom of my lungs, and I was taken aback by the lack of ease of breathing.

After choosing to drive past my house to cruise around, I realized that:

A part of me was sad for being happy.

Was it guilt? remorse? loss?  I don’t believe that I was at fault for anything… and I couldn’t help but feel confused and disappointment with myself.  I questioned whether it was again, my deprecating tendencies that raised these emotions or whether it was pure habit to feel this way.  Perhaps it was both,  because nothing is necessarily wrong with my life right now.  I mean, there is always something be sad about, I told myself, but there is always something to be happy about also.  Choosing to see light is the decision one makes to be happy.

You shouldn’t feel guilty for being happy because you feel as though it as at the expense of another, because it is not.  It would be at the expense of your being if you chose against your happiness for a cause that is unjustifiable. turtle

“The truth never damages a cause that is just” – Mahatma Gandhi

Be mindful that there are certain aspects of life that feel right and wrong for a reason.  If you made the right choice, let yourself be happy.